infinite moments

bridges connect
two places.
they make it possible
to not choose
if just for a few moments.

for a second
there’s no “over there”
in either direction…
there’s just the ground
i’m standing on…
sometimes leaping on…
sometimes skipping on…
sometimes dancing on…

& looking up
there’s just my sky.
a sky i don’t have to share.
a sky with answers
that are the perfect solution
for forever…
momentarily.

water rushes past
& i close my eyes
to let these moments sink in…
to pretend this moment is infinite.

of stars & seashells

the breeze overlaps silence
& in the middle space lies bliss
a place where lavender leaks
quietly into the air
& dreams are propelled
by a black tower fan
set on low.

wind chimes gently chant
melodies of tomorrows
& tomorrow’s tomorrow
& the moments stuck
in the past
that we try to thread
seamlessly into
the melody.

lights flash
discretely
reminding
me
that
I
can
always
go
somewhere
else.

but tonight
I’m everywhere…
most importantly, home.

& as I gently drift
to thoughts hiding
in my innermost
bits of soul,
I’m quite sure
if someone placed
their ear
to my belly
they’d hear the ocean.

Échappé

under window embers we awake
anxious fingers ready to swirl, poke
& swipe the curtain fog away

unconsciously
(& just as effortlessly)
we hop gracefully
from thought to thought
on the tips of our big toes
in calligraphy spins
& courageous leaps
upon lily pads
we lay down
softly
one
by
one
in a messy fashion
that’s perfectly
in order

the world whispers
gently
(into anxious adventure hungry ears)
“thanks for the show.”

all we can do
with those words
is scream
good morning
back into the hills
w/bellowing voices
that skip through
the atmosphere
with an eagerness
that only exists
once you’ve
finally
escaped
brave lips
& entered flight

Falling

“I was falling. Falling through time and space and stars and sky and everything in between. I fell for days and weeks and what felt like lifetime across lifetimes. I fell until I forgot I was falling.”

20140731-165500-60900861.jpg

mind the gap.

destination set
a monthly agreement that
we can go anywhere
anywhere, within bounds.

you’re moving,
but reality is
the still blurring
& whirling by
eyes fixed
unable to distinguish
the messages
the world spits
in our way.

then there’s something new…
a focus
a stillness
where the world stands still
& it’s safe at last
as we decide on or off…
on…
and it all starts over again
till we get to our safe destination.

mind the gap.

it’s a brave belief: home is wherever you are

it’s a brave belief: home is wherever you are
city to city, you’re there, always there
in heart & ritual…
cinnamon rolls on rainy mornings
lattes & dreaming on the way to work via ferry
hot chocolate via a camping stove
rivers rushing, sticks thrown
& skipping stones
13 (that’s a record – let’s redefine luck)
headlamps leading the way
to your evening
atop a mountain
looking out…
you’re just part
of this giant thing
you want to “get”
front row seats to meteor showers
(the top of your car)
with a boy you mock
for buying peach flavored beer
while you stay up
way too late on a school night
backpacking to overlook a field
where you’re able
to just be by yourself
among 14 strangers
one who has fallen for you
in three days
slightly conservative
with your days
slightly reckless
with your heart
road trips down the coast
flying kites in the starlight
just because no one else
thought of the idea
bonfires next to waves
your dog chases
surfing alone
during shark season
& eating pumpkin pancakes
during sunrise
next to a sandcastle
carved with love
one only gets from believing
you’ll be here forever
even when living across the planet
can’t everywhere be ours?
a deep desire
to be known
an always pressing need
to figure “it” out
five cities later
maybe it’s finally
a truth
that it’s still scary
to define the end
but that the end
isn’t so scary anymore
we are the rituals
we are the reckless kisses
we are the memories
we still wonder about
and if we live right
we are the moments
everyone else dreams
they made time for
exploring and
figuring out
where home really is…

mornings: poetry & gratitude

i kick the leaves covering the sidewalk that’s becoming familiar.  the air is crisp.  the sun is peaking out, but the rain is starting to fall.  the gray consuming.  i drink lattes and fall into day dreams containing poetic thoughts about what life will bring.  mornings fuel poetry & gratitude for me.

my dog licks my face.  while walking she is interrupted by a squirrel.  her focus constant.  when he scampers away she trots happily down the path again, unaffected by the fact she didn’t get to say hello yet again.  she looks back every now & then to make sure i’m keeping up, & i sometimes hide behind trees until she chases me down with her tongue kisses while jumping on me to say she has triumphed over my challenge.

coffee & wind in the afternoon.  squishy pillows, covers, paintbrushes, time to sort through the personal thoughts i’ve put off all week when work is consuming & leaves me no energy to process other parts of life.  i look up at the clouds & remember how bright the stars were last night.  a few more than the familiar few & i wished wishes willingly while whimsically wondering what would come.

tomorrow is another day.  every day is a day that can change something.  every day is a day that can change everything.  every day is a day we can make our own.

the. answers.

too little to understand
you comprehend
the depth of hugs
the placement of hands
on what bodies
& the words
the non-questions
you speak feelings
outward to space
you wonder
who is listening
who hears
& when you get older
you value
the people
who simply ask
how you are
& you struggle
with the people
you speak at
like you spoke
at the stars
into the wind
your thoughts
still just escaping
somewhere
because the
simple questions
remain
unasked
& not understanding
quite again
you just
keep.
speaking.
the.
answers.

the ability to feel

someone once told me that feeling is an ability.  each unique emotion we have the compacity to feel is able to be developed, grown & learned through experiences… happiness, magic, fear, sadness, excitement, love…

i think people forget that we need others to develop our ability to feel, to open up, to experience things that can only be created by the combustion of two people coming together in a such a way that doesn’t need to make sense.

these are the things that make the world beautiful.  i guess we really do need to depend on others in order to be able to depend on ourself… Every single moment is made better… by being able to really feel it.

close our eyes and really feel it

I wonder if all people live for the magic in life… the memories you can’t explain accurately again.

I would construct these moments before they even happened in my head since I was a little girl, obsessed w/the feeling I’d feel from time to time… how it would change my perspective, my range of emotions, my entire life. .

Now, months away from coming out of my twentysomething years, I feel a bit like I was all wrong.  I realize that I can create magic everyday on my own and that it belongs to no one else.  It’s watching cartoons on a Saturday morning wrapped in blankets in my hammock.  It’s getting to build something truly amazing every single day I go to work.  It’s thinking so much my brain literally feels exhausted every night… in the best way possible. It’s my dog licking your face at 2am and it driving me to take the time to drink tea on a blanket in the backyard just to stare at the <5 stars that only ever exist in the London sky.  It’s using the time on the tube to learn new things… amazed at the fact there’s a never ending amount of things and people to discover.

Sure, there’s still the moments that exist with someone else, but I’ve learned that these moments aren’t the ones we should seek out.  It’s exhausting to hop from magic back to everyday life… to feel like everything and then just disconnect, waiting for the next moment to exist with no control over when it will happen.  It’s always a little bit painful, no matter how easy the magic comes the next time around, to have to check out… to feel so disconnected from someone or something for a lot longer than the magic ever exists the next time it appears.

Sitting here tonight next to my dog with a candle burning listening to a record I can lean back and sigh a happy sigh because life is mine, it’s yours… it’s all of ours.  We can pull over to look at the stars, keep driving to some destination or change the path whenever we choose.  Most of the time we’ll accidentally go over the speed limit, but there will be moments where we’ll purposely slow down to take in life… to close our eyes and really feel it.

 

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